How to Have a Positive Outlook with a Chronic Illness

I often find myself being confronted with not-so-great days such as having a flare up of symptoms or just feeling crummy, and it usually ends in me visualizing the worst future for my family and me. All the possibilities, usually negative ones, will enter my mind, and then I slowly become even more frustrated, stressed, and upset. Thinking negative thoughts only adds to the chronic illness. Here is how I changed the negative thoughts, and how to have a positive outlook with a chronic illness.

How to have a positive outlook with a chronic illness #beingfibromom #chronicillness
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Why think negative?

I say it’s because it will help me to better prepare for the worst situation, and when the situation plays out I can’t get upset by the outcome because I’ve already prepared for the worst scenario anyway, right?  I mean, that’s what problem solvers do, correct?  Find all possible solutions when presented with a problem. (I’m a type A personality that happens to be Aries.)

My husband and me showing our Fibro Face for Fibromyalgia Awareness Day! #FibroFace #fibro #fibromyalgia #FibromyalgiaAwareness
my husband and me, 2014 – My husband has been through my illness with me from the beginning. He has supported me through even the darkest hours. I am truly blessed that God brought us together.

 

How a trip to the emergency room changed my thinking

After a weekend trip to the emergency room earlier in the year (and other difficult situations), I have decided to stop that negative way of thinking when it comes to my chronic illness. How did an ER trip change my thinking? I’m glad you asked. I will tell you.

I live with chronic pain and fibromyalgia. It has changed my life as well as my family particularly my husband. Both of these conditions have an effect on the body especially the nervous system.

‘My nerves are shot’ is a quite literal statement to people living with chronic pain and FM.

Anyways…when a person living with issues dealing with the nervous system, the slightest stress can cause some damage to the nerves. That is why it’s important to know your limits, set personal boundaries, and eat the right foods for fibromyalgia.

 

Nerves in my foot

What landed me in the ER on this particular occasion was nerve issues in my foot.  At this particular time of the year I was stressed with working on my blog full time while trying to properly care for my loving family. My nerves could not take the stress and started acting out in the form of severe burning, tingling, and numbing in my left foot.

After going through the ER triage, then put in a room, a medical student came in and started taking notes on my symptoms, any possible causes for the problem, and other issues. She stated that I have a lot of medical issues for being only 32. Boy, was she telling me!

I laughed and started joking about me being an old soul in a young body, but still having the old woman aches. She went on to talk about some of my other medical issues *insert boring medical jargon* and I continued to laugh and tell jokes. I mean, what else could I do? She wasn’t telling me anything new and it’s quite depressing when I think about it, but being depressed in public isn’t me.

 

 

 

Alone with my thoughts

Back to the medical student. Before leaving to get the doctor, she told me that I was the “most jovial sick person” she had ever met. She couldn’t believe I live in daily, constant chronic pain and be so “upbeat and cheerful”.

Then she left the room.

Then I was left with my thoughts in that tiny room with no one to laugh and joke with about my medical issues and now burning foot.

That left me with a lot of time to think.

This is what I thought:

“How could she think I’m so cheery? I’m definitely not happy with this burning foot!”

“I’m not an ‘upbeat and cheerful’ person. I hate this pain. I hate living this way.”

“Why do I always have to be the one in the hospital/ER/doctor’s office?”

“When can I catch a break?”

Laughing to myself: “She wouldn’t think I was so cheery if she saw me laid up in the bed crying myself to sleep because of the pain. Or the days when my depression gets so bad that the bed is my only refuge.”

On and on the thoughts came. It was as though the flood gates of negativity opened and my mind was the basin to catch all of it. Then I stopped thinking and started praying. And during my prayer something happened. It wasn’t so dark anymore.

Hey, what was that over there in the dark corner? It appeared to be a teeny tiny pinhole of light penetrating the darkness and drawing me to it.

Oh, my! That light was so bright and so warm and so powerful! I had to have more, so I drew closer. It seemed to be illuminating something. I looked to see what it was pouring its glorious light on. There it was – His comfort. For me. I desperately reached out and snatched it!

 

Seeking His comfort

It was an absolute relief to have His comfort when I needed it, but it was constantly living in the dark recesses of the negative thoughts. What was the meaning of what just happened?

I was being shown that situations do not have to end in negative thinking or any negativity for that matter.

pray about problems quote overlay

Here I was living in chronic pain and fibromyalgia among a variety of other medical problems, and this medical student was telling me how positive she thought I was!  Imagine that!

Imagine if I was more positive and upbeat and cheery about these medical setbacks. Any setback really.

What if instead of looking at the bad in a situation and searched for the good in it, it will be better just because of the positive thinking?  Couldn’t hurt to try, could it? It would most certainly be healthier and less stressful to think positive. And now that I had this overwhelming sense of spiritual empowerment and encouragement, I wanted more.

 

Two ways to approach a situation

There’s always two sides of a situation and two ways to approach it – negative or positive. Why was I choosing the negative? Why not choose the positive? Why not choose to believe that my God only wants what is best for me? Why not dive into prayer when faced with these negative thoughts?

 

So many problems...one solution #beingfibromom #chronicillness
stock image from Adobe Stock by © ForyouInf and modified by Brandi, Being Fibro Mom

 

When I think negative about a situation or a person, in my opinion, it is the devil attacking my spirituality. The devil is constantly attacking, but never doing it directly. The devil has various vessels to attack. In this case, he was using my chronic illness to get to me, when I’m vulnerable and spiritually down.

And it’s not just during the pain that he attacks. He’s attacking when our family’s financial situation is looking bleak or when I’m having a not so good day or whenever he possibly can. He needs to be pushed back when doing this. And that is what I exactly plan on doing.

I’m going to start looking on how I can glorify God in every situation, no matter how difficult it may be. I know the way will not be seen immediately or even after some time, but I will be praying until I find how to do it.

 

PRAY #pray #prayer

 

Victory of Battle

The battle ended that day. The battle inside between negative and positive is over. And just like my children go in time out when misbehaving and being bad, so will the devil and his negativity. The devil will take his negativity, sit in the time out chair and stay there.

And just like kids, the devil will find his way out of the corner when I’m not paying attention and go right back to doing what he was doing that got him in trouble in the first place. That’s alright though – I’ll be there to put him right back in that corner.

God has my back. I will do this.

I’m through fighting. This girl is pushing onward and upward.

 

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How to have a positive outlook with a chronic illness #beingfibromom #chronicillness
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Brandi

I'm Brandi, follower of Christ, wife to an amazing, supportive husband, blessed mother to four sweet children, and a fellow spoonie. Facebook-+-Twitter-+-Instagram

26 thoughts on “How to Have a Positive Outlook with a Chronic Illness

  • September 9, 2014 at 6:41 pm
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    What great way to change your perspectives and focus on the positives.

    Reply
  • September 18, 2014 at 10:19 am
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    I am happy for you to have found a way to seek the positive in a negative situation. God will never fail us.

    Reply
    • September 18, 2014 at 10:56 am
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      No, He will not. Realizing that and accepting it is the challenge for many. Thank you for reading my story!

      Reply
  • September 18, 2014 at 10:56 am
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    Turning a negative into a positive is what it is all about. My daughter lives with MS; therefore I understand your struggle with feeling sick but looking completely healthy. But here is what I also know…God will handle this just as He handles all our other issues. Continued blessings to you and your family.

    Reply
  • September 18, 2014 at 11:26 pm
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    Bravo! Thank you for being brave and for being vulnerable in sharing your story here. What a trial you are struggling with. I appreciate your battle and your desire to rely on Him. Thank you for sharing.

    Reply
  • October 25, 2014 at 12:16 pm
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    It is so nice to know that there are others who refuse to allow devastating, life changing pain and daily discomfort steal my sense of humor or cheery disposition. Thank you for being brave and to sharing your story!

    Reply
  • December 12, 2014 at 8:59 pm
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    Thank you for sharing your story. We all have challenges and today I have been tested with exhaustion and work/life stress. It is nice to hear of your strength in adversity, and I’m going to try to change my outlook.

    Reply
    • December 13, 2014 at 6:52 pm
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      I’m sorry to hear that you have been challenged today, but I’m glad to hear that my words have a positive affect on you. I’ll pray for you and hope that you feel better soon. Gentle hugs, friend.

      Reply
  • January 21, 2015 at 10:37 am
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    Hi Brandi: Just read your profile over at the Fibromyalgia Awareness blog. Wanted to tell you that at 62, and 20+ years into my fibromyalgia journey, you inspired me. I’ve raised 2 kids, been married to a wonderful and supportive guy for 33 years, and run a virtual coaching business for 25+ years from home (only way I can work…it allows me to manage my schedule and deal with my up and down days…holding down an outside job would be impossible, as you’ve experienced). I coach executives, write, speak at conferences, have written a couple of books, am known and respected in my field, and yet, when alone, I have the same bouts of depression, energy drains, pain, and woe-is-me moments you experience. And like you, I push back and look for the positive. Sometimes it’s almost impossible, and those who know me well, know I sometimes “disappear” for a while…email doesn’t get answered; deadlines slide; only critical stuff gets done (if I can manage). In those times it’s truly impossible to climb out “of the fog” until my body lets me. And just when I think I can’t take it anymore, the light grabs me and pulls me back to the real world. I’ll often feel a rush of energy and clarity and call my husband at work and tell him “I’m back!” We both rejoice…we never know how long it will last, so we treasure every moment…sometimes I’ll be lucky and it will last for months till the next flare. Often relief does seem to happen from prayer when I’m at my darkest, achiest, most fogged in times. Anyway, sorry to ramble…just wanted to say I appreciate you, and support you as a young, brave wife and mother and a voice for us all. You rock!

    Reply
    • January 22, 2015 at 10:32 am
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      I can’t begin to tell you what it means for a person of your experience to tell me those kind words! Thank you so very much! Gentle hugs to you!

      Reply
  • January 28, 2015 at 7:32 pm
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    Hi Brandi,
    Thank you for sharing your story. I was just talking to my friend Robyn who suffers from fibro. She goes through so much, and like you, she has her good days and bad. I will keep you in my prayers. Blessings sent your way!

    Reply
    • January 28, 2015 at 7:44 pm
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      Thank you so much for your kind words and prayers! Prayers and positive thoughts to your friend, Robyn, too.

      Reply
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  • March 22, 2015 at 7:36 pm
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    Thanks for sharing this with us, beautiful.I too laugh it off around others,it could be worse is my morltto,however, I have a flare. Coming on and this waggle.for.me to.see. I struggle.to keep.working but fear so.much that my body needs a break, but this means more fighting to.keep.my job… thank you for reminding me.to.offer it up x hugs to.you

    Reply
    • March 22, 2015 at 7:38 pm
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      Oops fibro. Funnies are in my fingers that combined with auto correct leads to… well oops

      Reply
    • March 23, 2015 at 10:42 am
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      I understand about working. I use to work, before I was diagnosed, and it hurt so bad some days. I didn’t understand what was wrong with me. Now I understand.

      Thank you for reading and understanding!

      Reply
  • July 22, 2015 at 3:43 pm
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    Having friends who cope with varying chronic illnesses, I appreciate this post so much because it sheds light on the struggles and the victories people experience. You perform a valuable service for people by pointing them toward the Father in prayer; I think David, in particular, is a great example of one who poured out His soul to God in every season, withholding no emotion from God, and trusting Him to be able to handle the good, the bad, and the ugly. Thanks for sharing this one with us at Grace & Truth!

    Reply
    • July 22, 2015 at 9:41 pm
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      Thank you, Jennifer, for your kind words. Yes, David is a great example of bearing true emotions. Thank you for commenting.

      Reply
  • June 11, 2016 at 11:03 am
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    Thank you for sharing your story Brandi. I am presently going through a major flare up and huge outside stresses financially as I have been unable to work for over 2 years. I have become closer to the Lord as I have ever been but still need to keep working on my spirituality to draw myself even closer to him. Negativity is definitely one of the devils tools and I have got to win this fight! Thanks again and God Bless you for reaching out to try to help others overcome this.

    Reply
    • June 14, 2016 at 11:27 am
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      I empathize with your stresses. For me personally, I grow closer in my relationship with our Lord when I go through these difficult times. Each person is different, and I’m grateful that I am able to see the positive rather than the negative. The negativity can chew me up and spit me out. It’s rough.

      Reply
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