My husband and I will be celebrating twelve years of marriage this winter. Our marriage has had its fair share of amazing memories, stress, good times, bad times, fibromyalgia, and more. The great times far outweigh the not-so-great times, but it takes unwavering commitment from the both of us to have a solid foundation for our marriage.
One of the commitments we value important in our relationship is reconnecting with one another as often as we can. We have four children, his work, my blogging and other projects, homeschool, traditional school, and more on our plates. It is essential that we find time for one another to maintain that connection and commitment. The big question is, how do I make time to reconnect with my spouse?How to reconnect with your #spouse. #marriagestrong Click To Tweet
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How do I reconnect with my spouse?
Answer: Make the time. Each of us make time for the other obligations, errands, and appointments in our life, so make the time for your spouse.
Here are some ideas:
- Find mutual activities both of you enjoy and do them.
- Take time to do an activity that your spouse enjoys and genuinely be involved with that activity.
- Commit a specified day and time of the week that is just the two of you – no interruptions.
- Unplug from the electronic devices and get some face to face time.
A way that Tim and I choose to reconnect is a weekly breakfast date of Scrabble (this is the edition we have), breakfast, and coffee. Normally, it’s just toast for breakfast, but sometimes we sneak off to Bojangles for a sausage biscuit when the kids are in school. It’s a guilty pleasure we partake in. I know, we are terrible parents!
Bojangles and Scrabble
Each Wednesday morning my husband and I wake up an hour before the kids (I know this sounds crazy to wake up even earlier, but it’s well worth your marriage, right?). I pop over to Bojangles and pick up two breakfast sandwiches – Cajun chicken for him, sausage for me.
By the time I get home, my husband has our coffee and Scrabble game ready to go! We then quietly play one round and have the best conversation filled with laughter and flirting.
At the end of the game, it doesn’t matter who has won or lost (although I must say that I am 5-1 since we started) because the time we spend with each other is the most important aspect.
Having this breakfast date is something we look forward to each week because:
- it sets the tone for the day and relieves a lot of stress,
- allows us to have a conversation without being interrupted by our children, and
- lets us discuss important topics such as God, our goals, and dreams.
There are some rules that we set for that time.
- No negative talking
- No talking of off limit topics such as finances, work, etc.
- No talking about the kids (We talk about the kids every day, all day. It is okay to have one hour without talking about them.)
- That time cannot be rescheduled, or canceled!
How did this breakfast date come about?
Lying in bed one night, my husband told me he felt that we did not get enough ‘us’ time. I agreed. We do not have a local babysitter and our families do not live near us, so date nights come about once a year. Clearly, that is not adequate enough time for a couple. He suggested waking up early the next morning and playing a game of Scrabble. I added the sneaking to Bojangles to get breakfast biscuits. Done! It was set.
The next morning, and the first Wednesday we did this, August 27, my husband and I had such a great time that we agreed this had to become a weekly commitment. We put it on our family calendar and we now do it each week. We LOVE it!