February 14, 2016
It’s already Sunday night, and it feels like it was just yesterday that I was saying “thank goodness it’s Friday”. It’s been a loooong weekend with fun and excitement, but also with stress and (almost) tears.
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First, the fun stuff…
My nephew spent the weekend with us (yay!), so my husband spent Saturday with our two sons and nephew while my mom and I took our daughters to the Lowcountry Family Expo. The main highlight, for us, was the pet fashion show, but we also saw other vendors.
I gathered ideas for a possible booth for Being Fibro Mom at next year’s Family Expo. It would be a great way to spread information about fibromyalgia. My mom said she would help plan, and together with my best friend’s help, I know it would be a success. I’m looking forward to it!
After the show my oldest daughter decided to cut her hair in order to donate it to Pantene Beautiful Lengths. This is a cause that is near and dear to my heart. One of my life long friends was diagnosed with breast cancer some years ago. When I saw how she lost her hair, and the need for a wig, I decided to help. Read more of what the program is, the DOs and DONTs of donating hair, and where to send it.
Saturday concluded with a visit to my dad while he’s in the hospital. He gets lonely in there, and a visit from us brightened his day. He loved seeing the girls, and told Madison how proud he is of her cutting her hair for a greater cause. He said this with great empathy and pride as he battles cancer each day. It was a good visit, and a good day for him.
Sunday was not as good. I spent the morning hours with my dad, and he was not well. Seeing him in pain and upset, had me upset. Such a strong, stubborn, loud-mouth man my whole life reduced to a weak, vulnerable, quiet man by cancer. How quick our lives can be transformed. It saddened me, and made me appreciate my health, though weak itself, even more. By the time I left, he was sleeping well, and waiting for a visit from my younger sister and family.
Now the sad part…
I was close to tears on the drive home. My stress and pain levels were high. Seeing my dad ill and wanting to go home made me sad. I knew I would burst into tears as soon as I saw my husband. It happens every time.
Except this time.
When I saw him, I didn’t see him as much as I saw his stress. Stress of work, stress of the kids, stress of worrying about me, on and on. Sometimes, when we are at our weakest, we see someone else at their weakest, and it makes us strongest.
I sucked up my tears, and focused on getting him relaxed. We played board games, made moon sand for the kids, ate some amazing homemade Korean, and watched movies the remainder of the day. He was happy, and that made me happy.
Yes, I’m still stressed. That’s not something that easily goes away, but sometimes putting aside my stress to care for my caregiver is worth it. He is not just my husband. He is my best friend, lover, soul mate, partner in life, shoulder to cry on, back to lean on, and so much more. I love him.
Disclaimer: Please understand that everyone is different in their journey with fibromyalgia and/or chronic illness. This is my journey, my stories, my vulnerability to share with you in order to help in some way. It is in no way to compare my journey with yours or to minimize your pains, feelings, or experiences. Please do not comment with any negativity.