Dad’s Best Friend

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Dogs make wonderful pets, and their loyalty is something you could never buy.  Of course having a dog is a huge commitment.   They have to be walked, fed, bathed, brushed, and the list goes on.  But do you know how much untapped potential there is in having a K9 friend?  I’m going to give you three reasons to why dogs are truly dad’s best friend.

Why should you get a dog you ask?  Sure, it’s awesome just to have a dog, but there’s so much more that they can contribute to your life than you may realize.  First off, the dog is a natural vacuum cleaner.  He sucks up all the leftover crumbs and food which is awesome because now you don’t have to sweep and vacuum.  If you happen to spill something sloppy like spaghetti don’t worry, he’s got you covered on that too.  This saves you back pain, unnecessary sweating, and gives you more time to do other dad things like making sure your favorite shows are set to record on the DVR, or maybe giving yourself a porno-trim.

Another great reason for having a dog?  You can blame all kinds of shit on him and get away with it.  Let me tell you what I mean.  My wife comes into my man cave and says, “Who left all of these candy wrappers lying around?”  First, you have to make sure you look surprised, like you’re not the one that lazily ate all the candy and discarded all the wrappers on the floor.  If you need help pulling this off, try practicing your acting skills in front of a mirror.  Next, you respond with, “Oh man!  I bet the dog got into the trash and scattered them across the floor!”  Next thing you know, you’re in the clear.  You see?  It’s just that simple.  Just don’t over do it.  You don’t want the dog taking all the heat so blaming your kids would be next.

My last reason is a very critical one.  Dogs keep other neighborhood kids at bay.  I like to train my dog to bark as loud and vicious as possible if he hears a knock at the door.  This way, when an outside kid comes over, the fear is already in their hearts before you even open the door.  The whole time the other kid is visiting, he or she will be thinking about how much carnage one bite to the face would be rather than how much fun they could be having.  This will limit how many kids visit, which kids visit, and how long they visit.  This equates to more quiet time around the house.  And every parent knows that silence is truly golden.

So as a you can see, there’s a lot more to dogs than meets the eye.  First and foremost, always remember to treat your dog with love and respect.  They may be just a small part of our lives, but we’re their entire world.


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