Fibromyalgia and Bras: The REAL Pain of Wearing a Bra

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This article first appeared in The Fibromyalgia Magazine in March 2018.

Allodynia is a common co-morbid condition of fibromyalgia which means wearing a bra can literally be a pain.  Here’s why fibromyalgia and bras do NOT go hand-in-hand. My experience with bras and why I HATE them. Yes  – hate them.

“Over the Shoulder Boulder Holder”

That’s what CC Bloom calls a bra in a musical rendition of the movie Beaches (one of my favorite movies starring the amazing Barbara Hershey and Bette Midler). I didn’t quite understand the full meaning of the phrase at the tender age of ten, but it was entertaining nonetheless. Little did I know that I would come to fully understand – and come to despise – this undergarment in various stages of my life.

During my pubescent years, I hoped to one day be able to fill one of those “over-the-shoulder boulder holders.”  And not just a little fill, but fully fill it, if you get my drift. Modeling in front of the bathroom’s full-length mirror, I would stuff tissues into my training bra to see what it would look like to have breasts. Of course, a training bra meant a thin piece of cotton wrapping around the chest merely providing an extra layer of clothing rather than real support. Regardless, I liked what I saw, and I was all too impatient to get those womanly features. 

Me when I was about four.

A Bra is a Short Way to Spell “Torture Device”

When I finally developed after hitting the awkward phase of puberty and a real bra was required, I immediately hated it. Not only was it constricting and itchy, but it was downright uncomfortable. Even with a small chest, I dreaded wearing that contraption each day. And that’s exactly what it felt like – a contraption for my upper torso. It didn’t take me long to realize why these undergarments had also acquired the name ‘torture device’. Unfortunately, this was only a small taste of what was to come. 

During my high school years, I discovered the underwire bra. Coincidentally, this happens to be the same time I discovered that the underwire was an extension of torture to an already daily required punishment that comes with wearing this absurd garment. I was always unsure of where to wear the underwire – snug under the breast or further down to lay against my rib cage. Regardless of where it was worn, it chafed my skin and caused major irritation. Needless to say, my phase of wearing an underwire bra was short-lived.

“Real Womanly” Breasts

While serving in the military, I found the sports bra to be the best bra for me. It was comfortable, provided adequate support throughout the long duty days, and could be washed with any type of laundry. It was super convenient and affordable for me at the time. Unfortunately, this all changed when I became pregnant with my first child.

When I  became pregnant, it seemed my chest swelled from a borderline B/C cup to a full DD overnight. The full cup I desperately wanted when I was younger was finally a reality. Here, in all their glory, were my “real womanly” breasts. It was exciting to achieve the look I imagined in the mirror when I was younger. It didn’t occur to me at the time that finding a bra for my newly acquired size would be a long and tedious process. I also didn’t realize the constant pain and other issues that come with a well-developed bosom. 

Fibromyalgia and Bras

As it is, my shoulders, back, neck, and chest are in a constant state of pain. Now I had to deal with the other issues of being that full cup. I believe half of the pain is from living with fibromyalgia and the other half is a combination of the three issues I have with a bra: weight, allodynia, and an ill-fitting bra.

#1: Weight

According to Discover Magazine’s article, The Physics of Bras by Anne Casselman, “A pair of D-cup breasts weighs between 15 and 23 pounds – the equivalent of carrying around two small turkeys.”  Carrying that much weight sounds heavy let alone how it feels carrying it each day. 

Once my husband asked me how heavy my chest was and what it was like to carry it around. To get an idea of the weight, he stood behind me with my back to his chest and lifted my breasts with his hands. I instantly felt a relief of pressure off my upper body. It felt wonderful to not have that weight hanging on me. He was astonished by the weight. He couldn’t believe the weight I was carrying each day. He then understood my hatred of a bra and the regret I had for wanting a larger chest. 

#2: Allodynia

In addition to this oppressive undergarment causing pains in my upper back and chest, I face the daily complexities of living with fibromyalgia. Fibromyalgia has various symptoms, and one of them is allodynia. Allodynia causes a person to feel pain where there normally isn’t pain. The most common example is experiencing pain when the skin is slightly touched. Wearing even loose clothing can trigger allodynia, and a bra can make that discomfort and pain even worse. 

Often times I dread having to leave the house and don ‘real’ clothes, and by real clothes I mean clothes that are not pajamas. The bra is a part of those real clothes. I know what’s to come: the feeling of my skin being cut by the straps; the itchy, crawling feeling across my back, shoulders, and chest; and the limited range of motion while wearing it. Seriously, I sometimes feel as though I can’t do anything while I’m wearing a bra, and try to move as little as possible.

#3: Ill-fitting

Being a mom leaves little room for ‘out of the norm’ tasks. Unfortunately, buying a new bra is one of those ‘out of the norm’ tasks. It requires finding time to go to the store, identifying the correct bra size, picking an appealing one, and trying it on (IF you have time). All of this while juggling multiple children, running on no sleep, and in constant pain. Result: Randomly picking a bra presumed to be the correct size only to have the band ride up the back, have cup gaps, and straps that cause deep grooves in the shoulders.

Consequences of an Ill-Fitting Bra

While chatting about the absurdities of bras with my gal pals one day, I discovered I didn’t know all that much about bras. I knew that it hurt like hell to wear each day, but I didn’t realize there were wrong ways to wear a bra. This inspired me to research all about bras. I was astonished to find the consequences of a poorly fitted bra.

Too Small

When a bra is too small, Physiotherapist and spokesperson for the Chartered Society for Physiotherapy Sammy Margo says, “…it creates pressure on the nerves, muscles and blood vessels around the shoulders, upper back, and rib cage, leading to pain, headaches, and even constant pins and needles in the arms.” He goes on to say that this prolonged pressure can cause damage to the shoulder joint reducing the range of movement and arm function. This results in constant pain for the wearer.

Too Big

Alternatively, wearing a bra that is too big can also lead to problems, according to Margo. Problems include hunched shoulders in a failed attempt to compensate for the inadequate support as well as having the constant weight of the breasts against the rib cage resulting in breathing issues. 

Tight Straps

Many women will adjust bra straps in a vain attempt to tighten the bra if it feels too loose or not supportive enough. I am definitely guilty of this! Marks & Spencer’s top bra fitting expert, Julia Mercer, says it’s common for women to believe that the purpose of the straps of a bra is to support and hold up the breasts. In fact, straps are there to hold the breasts in one position, while it’s the band of the bra that does all of the supporting. 

Tight straps place pressure on the shoulders. Not only will this lead to permanent grooves in the shoulders, but it also pulls the shoulders and spine forward. Nerves can also be damaged by too-tight straps, leading to weakness in the arms and hands, tingling or pins and needles in the arms, and blue or swollen hands and fingers.

Fibromyalgia and Bras: The REAL Pain of Wearing a bra #beingfibromom #thefibromyalgiamagazine #fibromyalgia
This is a beautiful image, however, you can see the bra imprints on her skin. This means the bra was too tight and can cause issues all over the body. (Photo by Emiliano Vittoriosi on Unsplash)

Sports bras

Wait a minute. Sports bras are listed under ‘the consequences of a poor-fitting bra.’ I’m sorry to say that research has shown that wearing a sports bra on a regular basis for extended periods of time can cause breathing problems. Think about it: A bra, when worn correctly, can put pressure around the chest/rib cage area. A more form-fitting bra, like a sports bra, which is intended for exercising, puts greater pressure around the rib cage in order to hold the breasts in place. When this is done on a regular basis for extended hours at a time, it’s no wonder it can cause breathing issues.

Even though this entire article has been listing the issues of wearing a bra, especially when living with fibromyalgia, there is hope. Like all the problems I encounter, I search for solutions. This is no exception. In next month’s edition, I’ll help you find the correct bra size, share how to get the proper fit and explore bra types for different occasions. Wearing a properly fitting bra will not only reduce pain in the shoulders and back but also lower overall body pains.

How to Minimize the Pain of Wearing a Bra

In this follow-up article, I’ll help you find the correct bra size, share how to get the proper fit and explore bra types for different occasions. Wearing a properly fitting bra will not only reduce pain in the shoulders and back but also lower overall body pains.

23 thoughts on “Fibromyalgia and Bras: The REAL Pain of Wearing a Bra”

  1. Judith Henderson

    Finally!! Someone who understands bra problems! I have spent a fortune on “fittings” that don’t work, costly bras that don’t fit, and have a pile of bras in the drawer. I hate to wear one but I have to when I’m in public but the minute I get inside my front door, off it comes. Sometimes it hurts so much I take it off in the car. I think it feels like barbed wire cinched tight around my chest. I look forward to your next article. Thank you!

      1. I didn’t know anybody else felt this way. The invisible pain from fibromyalgia is so hard to describe to people when you can’t even see it. Like bruises that aren’t there. I would love to know what bras you recommend that don’t break the bank and can still support a DD size.

    1. Marcia Cosentino

      Hate bras! Have fibromyalgia and hurt from them, among other things. Tried a “Genie” type .. Or several… And found the overall pressure made me fee as though I had been beaten. Tried stretchy camies, but they were even worse. Any pressure causes pain, on a good day. On a bad day it is torture. Loose mostly cotton with no stretch undershirt type camies seem to be the best alternative for me. We need more and better alternatives.


        YES – Horray for loose fitting soft cammis instead of a bra. I will often wear a pretty scarf that flows down my front and pretty much hides any bouncing and makes my boobs less obvious under the shirt and cammi. Anything on my back and shoulder blades is SO painful – I just CANNOT (and I WILL not) wear a bra.
        P.S. Medical cannabis gummies are enormously helpful with my fibro. I refuse to use any opiates or narcotics – so I am happy to have the medical cannabis!

      2. Yes! even if it fits correctly. even if it’s stretchy. I seldom wear them anymore, I’m not huge 42B but before long they will hang to my waist! then what! Ugh!

    2. I do the same thing. I also have a ventral hernia and trying to keep the bra band off that protrusion is impossible. I get so nauseated and in so much pain it comes off soon as I come in the house or in the car at times too. I have twos bras that are older than dirt and are in terrible condition. I have to wear the bra two sizes bigger just so it doesn’t hurt sooooo much. So I can’t find a bra that works. Now what??


        JOCKEY and WOMAN WITHIN both have lovely, soft camisoles that can help when using them instead of bras. I only wear a bra a few times a year – like at weddings or funerals. I don’t want the “girls” to sway and bounce under dressy clothes – but I go to the ladies room toward the end of these affairs to unhook the bra – but it will still hurt on my shoulders and shoulder blades.
        BTW – I went to a doctor about the pain in my right arm and was advised that “exercise helps with fibro!!” Who can exercise with all of that pain?
        People who don’t have FIBROMYALGIA haven’t a tiny clue to the pain dished out to us 24/7!!

    3. Jeannie D Larcombe

      Yes, Wearing a bra hurts, especially when you have Fibromyalgia. However, if I take my bra off for any length of time, because I have large breasts, it starts to hurt from the weight. I feel a pulling ache in the chest wall as well as in my breasts. Once I’m on my way to bed I can manage a few minutes braless, but once I am upright, it starts to ache with a different kind of pain than the bra gives me. Sports bras are the best choice, if I can find the right size. As I age I seem to care less about looks and a lot more on comfort.

  2. Laurie Nordike

    I have the same problem, I hate wearing them nothing seems right and I’ve spent a fortune on them.

    1. Unfortunately, this is common for so many of us. Check back on Wednesday, 3/11. I’ll be publishing an article about how to minimize the pain of wearing a bra. Hopefully, that will give some insights and improve the pain a little.

  3. Wow I can’t believe I’ve found this page. I only started reading about fibromyalgia and feeling very sure my almost constant neck and shoulder pain (trapezius to be specific) on both sides and the agony of wearing a bra. The sports bra has become all I can tolerate and then not for long. When I have to wear one for hours I always suffer even worse that evening and nothing touches the pain. Everybody knows I don’t wear a bra at home.

    1. It’s unreal how much pain bras can cause. I get constant pains in my neck and shoulders, too. And no bra at home ALWAYS!!

      1. Hey, so I’ve had fibromyalgia for a little while now combined with a ligament disorder called hyper-mobility syndrome. I’ve always worn a wireless bra and I’m a c cup. Recently though I’ve wanted to go braless, but the back pain and the stiff muscles in my neck after one day is enough to make me want to throw in the towel. Was this the case for you when you first stated and how did you deal with it?

        1. Hi, Amanda, I still struggle with bra pain, so I go most of the time without one. When I leave the house I put one on and I make sure it fits me correctly to minimize the pain associated with it. As soon as I get home, off the bra goes! Take care and gentle hugs, Brandi

  4. Hello fibro fam I to suffer from pain in upper chest shoulders neck mid upper back due to my bras. I to only wear a bra when I go out but has anyone ever get bruised from wearing them. My bras aren’t tight but when I take them off the next day I’m bruised have either of u experience that.

  5. put me on your email list PLEASE fibromyalgia for 30 years andnot under control and realizing my bra might be one of the culprits HELP PLEASE!!!!

    1. Hi, Sue, you can sign up for my list in the sidebar of the website. However, I’m currently not sending out weekly updates at this time. I hope to resume again soon. Take care and gentle hugs, Brandi

  6. All this and more! I’m 5’4″ish and around 200lbs, with a 36DDD/F and that’s after a reduction. I was a 38H before. I got the reduction and told my surgeon PLEASE take me down to a D. She didn’t. 10 grand wasted and I have yet to find a bra that doesn’t hurt me. Most bras in the “comfy bra” stores go up to DD. Almost nobody has 36DDD. I’m so frustrated, spent over a grand just trying to find good bras. My shoulders burn every day and I still have bra grooves. I don’t like bras that have lines going over right where the nips are, I mean come on…it makes it even more annoying and irritates the skin! I want a bra that has a slightly padded cup, with padded underwire (it IS possible, I used to have a bra with it and I didn’t feel it, it was so nice!) or a strong soft band underneath, and soft straps. I don’t care if it’s pretty. I want to be supported, and comfortable.

    1. YESS!! I feel the same way, Christina! It’s time for me to get a new bra and I’m not looking forward to shopping for one. It’s always a pain.

  7. I don’t know if anybody else does, but I wear silicone nipple covers. I get them from Amazon. I couldn’t handle the bra around my torso. I’m hoping they’ll be more options
    to replace a bra. I don’t like my nipples showing through my shirt.

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