My grandmother use to tell me that a mistake is worth making if you learned from it. I also believe that every difficult situation we experience is worth the experience if we learn from. After needing surgery caused by endometriosis, I learned a few things from my hysterectomy.
What I learned from my #hysterectomy. #endometriosis Click To Tweet
What led to the hysterectomy
When I was in my early 20s a physician diagnosed me with endometriosis. This diagnosis came as no surprise. Since I was 12 I became accustomed to painful menstrual cycles and ovarian cysts. My mom had endometriosis, too, and it can be hereditary.
What is endometriosis? According to the Mayo Clinic,
Endometriosis (en-doe-me-tree-O-sis) is an often painful disorder in which tissue that normally lines the inside of your uterus — the endometrium — grows outside your uterus (endometrial implant).
In endometriosis, displaced endometrial tissue continues to act as it normally would — it thickens, breaks down and bleeds with each menstrual cycle. Because this displaced tissue has no way to exit your body, it becomes trapped.
Endometriosis can cause pain — sometimes severe — especially during your period. Fertility problems also may develop.
Unlike many with this complication, fertility wasn’t a problem for my husband and me. God blessed us with four healthy children, and we became pregnant with each of them while taking birth control. (Birth control was a method my doctor used to regulate my cycles to lessen the pain.)
Now, after 22 years of living with endometriosis, I’m having a hysterectomy.
It’s a scary and intimidating word
An intimate yet scary word, in my opinion. It’s also a necessary and voluntary solution to my endometriosis. I am tired of living with the pain, and now have options. All options, but one, involved medications.
I listened to the all the possible side effects and events that could go wrong during surgery. I still chose the hysterectomy.
What if I get an infection from the operation?
What if I do have a bowel obstruction?
What if my ovaries are comprised?
What if my ovaries are removed?
What if I hemorrhage?
What if…I died?
Just as in everyday life, anything and everything possible could go wrong in the operating room. The doctors and nurses in the OR are human and prone to human error.
What if one of them is not focused on the task at hand?
What if the doctor forgets a step in the procedure?
So many what-ifs. So many precautions. So many worries.
Even after all those what-ifs, I’m still having the procedure done. Maybe if I turned those what-ifs to be different, and I look at it like this…
What if I turn my worries to God?
What if I leave it to God’s plan?
What if I trust that God loves me and knows what is best for me?
What if I praise God that I am given a solution to my suffering?
What if, by His plan, I am to lead a life free of endometriosis?
What if I wrap myself in God’s love and embrace this life He has chosen for me?
What if I turned from the negativity of worry and to His word instead?
I like those what-ifs better. I can feel my shoulders relax as I typed those what-ifs. I could feel the worries lift and leave me.
I don’t know what God’s plans are for me in the future. What I do know is that I choose to have this surgery, and I choose to look to Him for reassurance and love.
Thank you, Lord, for this chance at healing. Thank you for loving me and caring for me. Please be with the doctors and nurses in the operating room. Guide them with knowledge, focus, and attention. Please take my worries and replace them with your love. I know you will be with my family and me during this time, and will care for us. Thank you. It is in your name I pray. Amen.